If Energy Never Dies, Where Does it Go?

If energy never dies, where does evil go? Physicists have spoken for years about energy and how it never grows or dissipates, it changes from one form to another. Sort of the way ice melts, changing into water. While they’ve changed physically, the components of the H2O remain the same. This is the simplified version of what I’m trying to express about energy not disappearing but changing from one place to another. So, if energy never dies, what happens when someone evil dies? Where does the energy go?

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Men of science say energy doesn’t evaporate.


When someone has the death penalty or anyone we consider an evil person dies, what happens next? Are there ghosts or haunted houses? The energy remains. I have a little bit of a story about this happening, although I wasn’t decked out in Ghostbuster’s gear. In fact, I was working at Utah State Prison in Draper’s administrative offices. Seeing how the experience was about a decade ago, the government offices are way behind technologically, and Utah is reportedly about an additional ten years behind our sister states, it’s not a surprise to know my job was taking the hardcopy files and typing them into electronic files. And there were rows and rows of files, practically stretching to the ceiling.

One day, shortly before my supervisor left on vacation, I turned up an interesting file which had been misfiled. In fact, it wasn’t actually one file; it was three big fat ones. They were the files of Gary Gilmore. I’m not sure if you even know who he is anymore, but he was a murderer who insisted on being executed. And, he wanted the firing squad. Controversy surrounds Gary’s father of being the illegitimate son of Harry Houdini. But, regardless of whose son he was, his father, Frank, was an irresponsible and reckless individual as was his son, Gary. The apple certainly didn’t fall far from the tree. Gary’s last words were reportedly, “Let’s do this!” With that, Tommy Lee Jones got a role in The Executioner’s Song, about this occurrence. If you get a chance, look up the story online.


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The shelves were jammed from ceiling to floor, both sides, and practically endless.

Anyway, as I grabbed the file, unknowing whose it was, it was crammed into the back. I felt determined to get it out, but I did it. Without glancing at the name, I plopped it on my desk and opened to begin the mundane task of typing the contents. I have to admit, many of the folders contained crimes that desensitized me a bit. For this, I’m glad that my supervisor had two men escort me from the office the day before her return from vacation. Mrs. Redding determined to take credit for locating the file herself.  But the electricity that ran through my fingers as I turned the pages, reading this intelligent man’s train of thought during these killings was evil — for sure — but it was unlike any I’d ever felt. My only thoughts are of the two people who received his corneas before his cremation. If I felt the evil run through my body from my fingertips, what of the people’s eyes? And with that energy flowing through them, was their good strong enough to win?


Sometimes we wake up in a bad mood and it follows us throughout the day, causing a chain of events. My daughter Nikki was waking up every morning at 4:00 and coming into my bathroom. Being a sleeper so light that an ant farting powers my eyes open, she undoubtedly awakened me by walking and finished it off by flushing. I begged her to empty her bladder before bed thinking this would help. It didn’t. It wasn’t until I took her phone, for her misuse of it, and placed it in my closet did I discover the truth. Her alarm went off at 4:00 a.m. I was angry. I immediately woke her up, describing I had been getting five hours of sleep every night because of her shenanigans. Her reply was that waking up that early allowed her time to prepare for school–except, she would always return to bed! I was the only one who stayed wide awake until taking her to school.

I was so angry, nothing else seemed to go right that morning. It wasn’t until I stopped to take inventory of myself that I made the decision to have a pleasant day, regardless of the events. Turns out, it was one of the best days I’ve had at work. Energy begets energy, whether it’s positive or negative. But, my friend, energy never disappears. So what unfortunate person roped it for his own? Honestly, I wash my hands of it. I got rid of it and so can s/he. The only point I can make for certain is I haven’t killed anyone.


Friend or Foe; What Should You Know?

Have you ever wondered, when you see someone in an uncomfortable position, why he or she continues existing in that environment even when it’s obviously a bad situation? Let me share a story that is great information to share with your kids or yourself.

It’s been quite a while now, but I had this mysterious bump appear on my palm between my ring finger and pinky. After I first noticed it, I also noticed the bump was getting bigger every few days. I had no idea what it was, but it felt like a rock. I think it may have been a wart. When I tried using wart solution on it, there was virtually no change over the course of a week. So I grabbed this totally bizarre idea out of the air, as I often do, thinking that nail polish is paint; and paint prevents air transmission. Without air, whatever this is may suffocate. Who knows?

Anyway, after only a few days, the bump began drying up. After a couple of weeks, I noticed a peculiar crack around it. It resembled a stone deeply bedded in the sand. When I moved it, it rocked for a few days until I was able to wiggle it free. It was like a round stone falling out of my palm. Behind, it left a bizarrely smooth crater. Needless to say, I was relatively pleased I was thinking outside the box once again. But as time went on, I wasn’t the same. I noticed when I picked things up or held them in my hand, what I was accustomed to had changed. I found myself continuously rubbing the area of the absent wart with my thumb. Honestly, in a sick way, I missed the ugly, hideous wart simply because I was accustomed to it being there for so long.

Screen Shot 2018-05-06 at 10.32.45 AMThere are dysfunctional relationships like that, aren’t there? Just because we’re accustomed to something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good thing. If that were the case, there would be no frog stew. As soon as the water got warm, the frogs would leap from the pot. But they’re used to it, and they stay — forever, or at least until the chef removes them.


Signs of Abusive Relationships

  • When they compliment you, you feel as if you’ve been slapped
  • They cut you down and then say, “I was just kidding. Can’t you take a joke?”
  • They’re only happy if they win
  • They’re unhappy if something good happens to someone else
  • They focus on criticism of other’s thoughts and actions, trying to make others feel inadequate
  • They’re coldly calculating, blaming everyone else for their own failed choices
  • They make HUGE deals over insignificant errors, repeating them aloud so everyone knows
  • They actually enjoy seeing others uncomfortable or in pain—it’s powerful to them
  • There’s an undeniable discomfort of what they’ll say anytime they come near
  • They always seem to know what’s best and insist everyone agrees or be ousted

Now, whether it’s the career choice we’re in, with a supervisor who abuses us psychologically by talking down to us or even making fun of us; at first it’s annoying, but then we put it aside because we fear speaking up will cost us our job—and it very may well. We often make excuses for the person. They just moved. Their spouse is dying. They have a heavy workload. Whatever it is, there’s no good reason for them to take it out on the people who are there to assist them.

The same thing goes for making excuses for relationships, whether a “friend” or an abusive spouse. Perhaps they playfully slug you and joke about it, but then it becomes pinching or slapping. Then they confess it’s because of a bad day and having no ability to take their anger out directly on the person at fault, so they take it out on their support system. Afterward, they’re very sorry. They may even make a purchase to make everything all better for a while. But then, it starts again.

As the cycle progresses, the results occur more often and the intensity grows until we’re numb. It’s easier to turn off emotional queues sometimes than face the cause. The same principles apply to a group of people anywhere, whether a roommate situation, a party, the office or anywhere people convene. And there’s always that one “Debbie Downer” in the group that’s unhappy and complains, gossiping about other people in the room or office because her own life is so damned miserable, she wants others to join in on her discomfort so she isn’t so alone. These people tend to exploit the same message, “Hey, I’m important, and I know everything that’s going on, so you should talk to me.” We’ve all heard “misery loves company,” haven’t we? Well, it truly does!

Don’t worry; all is not lost when you’ve been duped.

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Here are some keys for coping:

  • Do not entrust them to do your tasks, even if they offer
  • If they manage to upset you, kill them with kindness, not sarcasm
  • Save any documentation such as text messages, chats, emails, etc.
  • Confront them in a professional and non-emotional manner
  • If speaking to them directly doesn’t work (in the office), involve a supervisor

All you need to do to keep “the warts” at bay, is as soon as you recognize them talking about someone else, whether true or not—that’s your head’s up. Because you know damned well, anything you say can and will be used against you in the next few days. Asphyxiate that wart with nail polish and stay away from negative influences that have nothing positive to add. You deserve better because you are better — you deserve positive influences, not wart-causing gossip. Share that with the people you care about.


Mayday, Mayday, I Need Help!

Ever feel like if your phone rings one more time, you’re going to freak out? Okay, my phone seldom rings at all, unless it’s Google’s automated voice dialer trying to get me to buy ad space. But the brink of insanity tends to breathe down all our necks at one time or another. So let me lay it on you. And then, you can share your thoughts!

First, remember I told you about the conflict at work that I had with someone I thought was my friend, it turned out I was wrong? Well, before we stopped being friends, I expressed the reason for taking the position was because one of the interviewers confirmed I could utilize my degree as a scriptwriter. After all, a girl that was there last year worked less than three months before she took a job more in line with my degree. I was sold! But then I discovered that I had to be an employee in the same department for a year! When I told my “friend” this, she was upset. She had come from a collection agency, where she reportedly made fantastic money and thought this job was going to be the same thing. (In all fairness, the term “collection” is in the job title.) When I shared my findings, she said she wasn’t hanging around for a year. But I didn’t blab it around.

Last week, we had our falling out. Supposedly, she’s a psychology student. The breakdown was that she IMed me in a group message stating I should “stop acting like a child” because I chose not to participate in a company game. I quickly texted back telling her that she’s not a psychologist, and I didn’t ask for her opinion. End of story, short and sweet as it is. Well, she quit last night. I’m assuming she found the other job she’d been searching for, and she was certainly in and out of the hall a lot yesterday with her phone. However, when she wasn’t there today, everyone assumed we’d been at it again, I guess. That would be a completely wrong assumption. As I said before, I haven’t given her a second thought. I’m just a bit disappointed work is a lot like a girl’s gym locker room; everybody’s nose is in each other’s business–and it stinks! I’m not a fan of idle gossip.

More importantly is that I thought I was going to move up in three months; my car has 140,000 miles on it, and my employer is 55 miles away. Even as horrible as I am with math, I can tell I don’t have a lot of time to figure something out. I at least need to find an additional position just to make ends meet. But here’s the clincher; they’re discussing having me change my schedule for 5 weeks, working from noon until 9:00 p.m. That means I wouldn’t get home until after 10:00 p.m. through the entire week. No kids.

Mion Mayday

As if to make matters worse, Nikki, my 11-year-old daughter, told me she thinks she may be lesbian. That’s not the bad news. The bad news is she’s decided she’s not, and she can’t wait for five years so she can start dating boys! I told her before, she’s got lots of time to sort things out before dating. Somehow the lesbian idea sounds safer to me right now.

See? I can’t be gone for over a month with this little girl talking about being straight; my sixteen-year-old failing school and insisting on prom; and “Greg” threatening to bail on me. Yeah, Greg is my car. What the hell am I going to do?

My life is unraveling before my eyes! If my phone does ring now, I may scream, “Mayday! Mayday!” into the receiver. It’s ringing now. Is it you?

Education or Connections?

Every parent has high hopes for their children. Mind you, I’m not saying every person who gives the “gift of life,” but the ones who are truly vested as parents. From the time the child is conceived, our heads are reeling with expectations with either how the child may mimic our history or fare far better. As teachers, this is our goal. But how much say do we have after implanting the initials seeds for their futures at a very young age? What counts more toward their future, an education or who they know?

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 6.56.10 AMTake my situation for example. My kids both have successful fathers, even though they are distinct opposites. One initially lied about having a degree and used his connections to vouch for him until he had a résumé that proved what he was able to glean by reading books and taking online courses in security. He’s financially inept at planning. But without kids and responsibilities, he’s living the life.

The other works his derriere 70+ hours a week as a construction foreman. The brutal hours and physical labor are taking a toll on his 62-year-old body. By the time Sunday approaches, his fun consists of dragging his clubs onto the course for a round of golf with his sons and wife.

Even though they have past entanglements with authorities. I do not. Neither of them has a degree. I do. I even graduated with a whole bunch of awards to establish how I’m outstanding. But with all that in the past, and nearly $100k in debt, I’m forced to look at the big picture and wonder what message this sends to my kids. How can I express the importance of education when mine hasn’t fulfilled anything but debt?

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 6.55.10 AMI know, I know. I sound like a whiner who drew the short end of the stick. Believe me, I understand I made the decisions I’ve made. As a writer, the competition is stiff. Some writers have the ability to connect, such as my classmates from Florida who attended Full Sail University on campus. Connections are made available to them on a regular basis. A lot don’t have kids and can travel. Unfortunately, I haven’t got those connections. And they’ve been fortunate enough to have both the connections and the education.

So, what are your thoughts? Should I teach that education is important so they can have their degrees and awards to poke their chests out? Or is the new way of survival self-education? Perhaps it isn’t what’s crammed into their heads by others, but what they strive to learn for themselves.

Who Says, “Nice Guys Finish Last”?

When you’re searching for a job, you want to present yourself as perfect as possible. You’re always instructed to present the best you — display your best face — put your best foot forward. Everything is your best, your best, your best. But what if they’re wrong?

You’ve done your “sales pitch,” which is what it really is, and you’re told that they think of you as a “good fit” for the company. Then the games begin to see who got the better end of the bargain. Unfortunately, this scenario doesn’t work out well. You see, you’ve settled for a lesser paying position with the promise of more pay after you’ve proven you have what it takes to meld with the company. The last person in your job was only there a few months before her promotion, you’re told with a wink. With your stamina and ability to deliver the “yes man” standards, you’re certain you’ll blow them away. Not so fast there, buckaroo! Because you’d be dead wrong, just like I was when I said “yes.”

Either on time or early every day, even though they told you to be in half an hour earlier than the other new hire. When mentioning the obscure schedules, they “got it approved” for you to have the identical schedule as her. Nice. But now they know where you stand, push-over with a 99% adherence to schedule. And when you bring up moving forward like the other girl mentioned at the interview, another story emerges–the one that says you must work for a low wage for a solid year before you can even apply to move up.

One night, after a meeting of an hour and a half with my two higher-ups, I ran into one of my friends, Iliad. He suggested I come and work with him literally making twice the wage I am making at my current job. He says the only stipulation is that I must change the way I behave. “What do you mean?” I asked, “I give my employers everything they could possibly want.”

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“And that’s exactly what you shouldn’t do,” Iliad told me. Then he continued to express to me what made him successful at his job where the turn-over is excruciating when he’s been there for over five years. I couldn’t wait to hear Iliad’s secrets.

  1. Never be too available — Don’t offer to do anything for the company, especially community work. The company gets all the glory for your freely donated time. You get a free T-shirt so you can be a walking billboard for the company’s charity work.
  2. Don’t offer to work overtime if they ask you — only work it when you need extra money. If you need “extra money” all the time, you’re working for the wrong wage.
  3. Announce the company’s bad treatment to other employees loud enough supervisors can hear you. That way, it’s not like you’re doing it behind their backs, but you’re not complaining to them either.
  4. At any meetings where opinions are valued, never offer opinions. If they focus specifically on him and request input, he gives such an abstract and complicated answer that everyone simply nods and moves on to the next victim.
  5. Comprehend the rule of the game is “unpredictability,” because everyone thrives on the thrill of the chase — not necessarily “the win.” After all, it’s human nature.

Once I gave ample thought to what Iliad told me, I realized he was describing an interesting video I once saw; Watch it!  It’s the gamble that’s addictive. And while I’m certainly not an advocate of abusive relationships, I certainly see his point.

The other girl who was hired the same time as I was, doesn’t have the same adherence to time as I have on my schedule. She leaves very frequently to smoke, makes phone calls in the hallway, and sometimes sneaks to the vending machine if she’s feeling like a treat. She’s outwardly and directly rude to co-workers. When they’re offended, rather than apologize, she makes them feel guilty for taking it personally as if they’re overly sensitive. I’ve seen it time and time again, and they’re willing to take the blame than see the mental games she’s playing with them. They want to please her.

Meanwhile, the woman in charge of training us spends much more time training my counterpart because she feels more appreciated by the time donated to her; rather than me who’s always there and eager like a new puppy, waiting for my next bone. There’s nothing wrong with this, per se, but it’s the natural human behavior when we don’t stop to consider the reasoning — sort of like the bell that goes off when we hear about a sale. We don’t pay too much attention to the prices — it’s a sale at our favorite store!

So in my extensive meeting, names were called in of people whom I’d considered friends. I’d created projects for them, gone out of my way to greet all the people in my department, even say “bless you” anytime someone sneezes. Pathetic because all the names I had thought were my friends had declared me “malicious” in one way or another according to the supervisors. They determined I wasn’t a “good fit” after all. Point blank, either I needed to work harder to fit in or consider searching for another job.

Personally, I’m thinking the saying of, “Nice guys finish last,” is a bit more credible than I originally thought. Give this some thought and share your own insight or suggestions.






The Ignorant can Kiss my Aspie!

I just need to get something straight – and that is the misconception that some people have – in fact, I believe most people have. I see this controversy about “handicapped vs. disability,” etc. And about how people are “less than” due to a trait they have. And yeah, it is a trait. It’s not a handicap. It’s not necessarily a disadvantage. All people see things in different ways. And the example I’m talking about is Asperger’s Syndrome.

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Let me clarify; when someone can’t walk, obviously, they have a disadvantage to someone who can. But the truth is, they probably have a different strength in another area. And going back to Asperger’s, that’s what I’d like to write about now, because many people refer to Asperger’s Syndrome as a disability, when it’s not always. Usually, Aspies are high on The Spectrum, and even in intellect. I highly detest any word used to describe a person with the preface “dis” in front of it, such as disadvantaged or disability. Because that reference literally means, “having a negative or reversing force.” Asperger’s is not less than, it’s an “Alterbility.” Whereas D-I-S means C-A-N-‘-T, and that’s a bunch of bullshit that others who don’t understand label us with so they feel better or normal.

Screen Shot 2018-04-25 at 12.36.33 AMThe biggest misconception of Asperger’s Syndrome is that the person affected is slow. But the truth is, quite often they’re a lot faster than “normal” people in other areas. Does that mean normal people are disabled in those areas? I don’t think so. Does it make them handicapped? It very well may on a golf course. And that’s exactly what I’m talking about.

I’m frustrated as hell because at my job, I work with some people who consider me to be mentally incapable, which is absolutely absurd. I scored very high on a professionally established IQ test and even higher on an EQ. I did have a couple of friends who beat me on a high school evaluation. My school considered Karina Wren and Carolyn Murdock geniuses, along with Paul Jensen, but that’s another story. Anyway, we were all considered brainy and high achievers.

My life began advanced as I started kindergarten at age four. In third grade, I distinctly Screen Shot 2018-04-25 at 12.22.42 AMremember sitting in the office with my parents, having a discussion with the principal about elevating me forward an additional year. My parents didn’t feel comfortable with the idea because of inadequacy in my social development. I was pretty upset at the fact my parents found me immature, but I have to admit they were probably correct. I found that out later when I took driver’s ed my junior year of high school with a grade younger than me.

I also took college preparatory classes my sophomore year of high school as well. I was the only sophomore in those classes, and it was a little bit of a gap for me. Sure, there are 12-year-old prodigies in college, but that wasn’t me. Socially, I was unprepared. When jokes were being told, I was usually the one who made a faux pas that gathered even more laughter than the joke. But my worst is configuring numbers. My mind tends to locate patterns in numerals before I can figure out solutions to problems. In fact, often times, the bizarre patterns I find help to solve the arithmetic in question. For me, it’s reasoning.

I used to have a razor-sharp memory before the amnesia-thing, which most of you who read my articles know Screen Shot 2018-04-25 at 12.35.42 AMabout. And that really scuffed me up. Now I have a trying time in remembering things. The worst part of that is I’ve always had a tendency of striving for perfection in everything I do. When I was young, I used to imitate sounds over and over again until I felt resolve in getting it perfect. It used to drive my mother crazy!

But rather than making a go at something and failing, I am hindered. I simply can’t stand the thought of not being flawless. Doing an “okay” job or a “passing” task has never been acceptable to me. So rather than allowing myself to make mistakes, I get behind by double-checking. Whenever I notice someone staring at me as if I’m crazy for going so slow, I speed up twice as fast to fit in and make tons of errors. It’s a horribly vicious circle of beating myself up for going too slow and then for speeding up and making mistakes.

Screen Shot 2018-04-25 at 12.26.32 AMOn the other hand, when it comes to creative solutions, I’m way above the grid on that. Um, I don’t know, but some of the older folks may remember the show McGyver. He could string together a pair of pantyhose and a piece of gum, creating a parachute to save his life in about thirty seconds. That’s sort of like me. I’m extremely good at finding solutions in places others wouldn’t consider. I’m very good at fixing things such as my washing machine, my headlight on my car, and other items people would sooner give a fistful of dollars for a repairman to fix. Sure, I save money. But the important thing is that I’m confident it’s done correctly – I’m a sick pedant who doesn’t stop until I find the right answer. Yes, it drives me insane sometimes, but I’m a writer. I’m supposed to think a bit outside-the-box.

If I ever am to be tested or quizzed, and I hear the words, my brain freaks out. Honestly, there was one time I had a test, and as soon as my name was on the paper, I couldn’t even remember the date. Often times, the questions seem to make sense, and I’m certain of the answer, but when it’s read aloud it sounds nothing like the question I answered. I still know the right answers; I just answered the wrong question. If I’m under pressure of time or needing a particular passing score, I will fail just about every time. When I was in school, I still got A’s, but that was because I had tricks I used to recall the answers using association—only when I knew about the test in advance. I’d study for hours to ensure the best score of my class.

On the other hand, the reason I consider myself an “alternate,” rather than deficient, is Screen Shot 2018-04-25 at 12.28.56 AM.pngmy senses are very acute. I can hear things from forever away—even when I try not to. My vision isn’t that good. I wear glasses, so I can’t say that. But my sense of smell could combat an animal’s skill. Between my hearing and my sense of smell, I have huge bonuses in some regard and extreme disadvantages in others.

If someone has body odor, I’m usually the first to pick it up, but don’t want to tell them they stink. So I basically suffer. Getting on elevators or through stairwells, if someone has had a cigarette, even when there’s no physical trace, I can smell them. If you like cigarette odors, “yeah for you.” I don’t. There have been times when the odor is so intense I’ve stepped off the elevator because I’m nauseated.

The same goes for my hearing. It may seem like a bonus, but not when you can hear people talking about you. It sucks. And it tends to inundate me sometimes. I tried explaining it the other day, but I’m unsure if she understood. So here goes; when I’m in a room with more than two people talking at the same time… Wait, let me give an example. It was a rare occasion with the kids and me at a restaurant having a discussion. My kids’ voices blended in at the same volume as the people sitting adjacent as well as the guests arriving at the door clear across the room. It’d be great if I wanted to eavesdrop, but when I’m really tuned into the person speaking to me, trying to hear what they have to say, it doesn’t work so well. Everything is one volume. So in this regard, it’s bad—and extensively, I get migraines that last for days. And on occasion, even bright lights cause considerable discomfort. You probably guessed we don’t go out much.

At night, when the wind blows or it starts raining, I wake up. Snow, not so much; it’s usually fairly quiet. But even someone walking on my carpet makes a cush-cush noise that wakes me up. Even still, I cannot separate noises going off at once. Big cities? No thank you. Malls? Hardly. Even movie theaters are difficult for me because I can hear people talking and even munching their popcorn or slurping their drinks above the audio of the film. It’s frustrating. I feel like I could hear a mouse fart from the other room.

Screen Shot 2018-04-25 at 12.32.36 AMEvery Aspie is different, and it’s hereditary. Both of my kids are gifted with it, although my son’s father refuses to accept it. My son’s taken a test enduring two days straight of filling in dots for psychoanalysis to determine his non-emotions and peculiar temperament. In sixth grade, he tested at a 12th grade level in three of the classes and above tenth in the others except for math. He was on the mark there. But that was homeschool where I taught him until junior high. Now he has predominantly D’s in public school. His father has convinced him there’s “nothing wrong” with him. I never said there was. But because of the non-support of his father referring to him as not trying, he’s all but given up. With aspirations to become a scientist, he’s kissed that off.

My daughter has an issue with anything coming in contact with her skin. She cries if she’s asked to fold clothes because she doesn’t like the way the fabric rubs her hands. She recently got over wearing her socks inside out and must have all the tags removed from her clothes because they feel as if they’re cutting her. She insists on wearing the same red zip-up jacket over any shirt she wears on a daily basis and doesn’t like the feel of the hairbrush bristles against her scalp. When it comes to animals, she communicates well.

We all have possessive issues with a comfort item. My son had the same blanket for years until it got lost in a daycare. Now he’s on his second he’s had for about 7 years. I slept with the same teddy bear Timmy, I received in third grade right after the meeting with the principal. It was supposed to soothe me. I slept with Timmy beneath my right shoulder until I was in my mid-twenties. An eye was missing. There were bald spots where fur had fallen out and stitches where I’d sewn him. It was awful, but I was attached like a fur-stuffed appendage. I think someone threw him out when I was moving. But that’s a quality of some Aspies; they frequently bond with inanimate objects.

Screen Shot 2018-04-25 at 12.16.36 AMAnother facet of Aspies is they tend to believe objects have feelings. When a gift is received, the Asperger’s recipient may love it beyond reality like a good friend or not want anything to do with it at all. There are objects I’ve received I have not felt akin to possessing. The perfect example is a dining set I purchased used a couple of weeks ago from a site on Facebook. A friend went and picked it up, so I bought it without first “meeting” it. I couldn’t sleep for nearly two nights because of the negative emotions I perceived from the set. I tried to resell it online. When I couldn’t within a couple of days, I finally took it to the dumpster. I coincidentally found another at a yard sale that gave me good vibes. All three of us love it.

Speaking of Facebook, there are several groups centered around nonjudgmental people with Asperger’s. I would totally suggest if you live with Asperger’s or know someone who does, you search out others who will understand. A lot of these groups have a “no harassment” clause you must agree to before joining, but it’s worth it in realizing you’re not the freak everyone who doesn’t get it makes you out to be. And truthfully, I’d rather be an honest perfectionist than a racist, a thief, a liar, or an egotistical failure hiding behind cynically rude remarks about others. Wouldn’t you? Those people can kiss my Aspie!








To Bite or Not to Bite – Is it a question?

It’s a freaking jungle out there! Okay, here’s the underlying secret: I’m only going to say this once. If you keep reading my articles, you’re going to have to remember this. Anyone who doesn’t read this, but reads the other articles, won’t know what the hell is going on.

So, I have Asperger’s Syndrome, or the street term for it is referring to me as an “Aspie,” that doesn’t jive very well with the amnesia I’ve had previously. Let me just say they don’t work very well together. But you’ll want to be aware of this for the story I’m getting into next. Understanding my thinking a little bit will help you comprehend how I’m utilizing something negative to help me in a positive way.

I was hired a week before this other girl at my job. And you know, some people are just really sneaky, and they become your friend so they can find out things about you. They do it with everybody, not just you. You’re not special to them. They’re everyone’s friend. And they make little mental notes about everyone in their head. Later, when it’s time for them to make their move, they determine whether or not you will be useful in their journey or not. These are not people you want to be friends with, trust me.

So as an Aspie, I can boldly say with absolute certainty that just because someone has Asperger’s doesn’t mean they’re not as intelligent as another person. It’s like they’re a “different side of the coin.” If someone gives you a quarter, there’s a front side and a back side; it’s still a quarter. It’s the same with people, whether Aspies or not — they’re just different. Not less intelligent, but they have a distinctly different methodology of arriving at answers. Some Aspies score extremely high on IQ tests. My 128 wasn’t bad.Screen Shot 2018-04-21 at 10.35.08 PM

One of the traits of an Aspie is “honesty.” And it’s not just honesty that you can trust a person because when you ask them if you look okay they’ll tell you. It’s not really like that — it’s much more blatant. Sure, they’ll definitely be straight up. But chances are they’re not going to stop and double-check their answers before giving it to you when you’ve asked for an honest opinion. It sort of just falls out of their face. They may say something like, “Wow, you look really good,” and mean it sincerely. But if you look really bad to them, they’ll tell you so without dressing it up. After all, you’ve asked. Right?

Socially, some people appreciate harsh honesty, but most people don’t at all. In fact, it’s better to lie and tell your friend they look great — let them go out in public looking like a total dork because you were polite. So, with that being said, let me go back to my job.

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Anyway, toxic people, like the girl I was talking about, start talking about people to other people. If they can get others to say nasty things, they’ll run back to the person they were just talking about and tell them what you said. We refer to it as backstabbing. One day when she was doing this, I defended the people she was talking badly about, and she didn’t like this. Finally, when she determined I was no longer a pawn in her sadistic game, she blatantly ignored me–even when trying to help. For example, when she dropped a pill on the floor, I called her name three times to tell her about it. When I left to get a drink and returned, it was gone. But after her complaining to my boss, she moved to the other side of the room. Far away from the girl who she boasted to about a pair of $2,000 shoes “a friend” bought for her. Yeah, I told her she was setting herself up. Nobody buys a gift like that for free.

The first day after her move to her new area, I heard her talking to another woman and say, “Oh, I was just kidding — geez!” That means that the game is afoot! But that’s the negative side I’m about to flip upside down like a pineapple cake. Like I said, I like turning things around to make them positive. As a writer, I thrive on this type of coping.

So I found this place that allows writers to submit work, up to 7,000 words. And this particular article is fiction. It needs to have a god in it with a good vs. evil plot. I’m writing a story to coincide with these factors. (Perhaps I’ll include a link later so you can read it and get a glimpse of how my unique mind works.) It’s about the goddess Adrestia; she’s the goddess of retribution and sublime balance between good and evil that cannot be escaped. Basically, she makes people pay for wrongdoings. My office cohorts will be included, although their names will vary. But the best part is all my frustrations can ventilate toward a positive end. Ka-ching!

I’ll be able to include the personalities I work with and be paid for the task. Best of all, I can allow this horrible creature to continue after I “bite the bullet.” It will feel freakin’ awesome!