Mayday, Mayday, I Need Help!

Ever feel like if your phone rings one more time, you’re going to freak out? Okay, my phone seldom rings at all, unless it’s Google’s automated voice dialer trying to get me to buy ad space. But the brink of insanity tends to breathe down all our necks at one time or another. So let me lay it on you. And then, you can share your thoughts!

First, remember I told you about the conflict at work that I had with someone I thought was my friend, it turned out I was wrong? Well, before we stopped being friends, I expressed the reason for taking the position was because one of the interviewers confirmed I could utilize my degree as a scriptwriter. After all, a girl that was there last year worked less than three months before she took a job more in line with my degree. I was sold! But then I discovered that I had to be an employee in the same department for a year! When I told my “friend” this, she was upset. She had come from a collection agency, where she reportedly made fantastic money and thought this job was going to be the same thing. (In all fairness, the term “collection” is in the job title.) When I shared my findings, she said she wasn’t hanging around for a year. But I didn’t blab it around.

Last week, we had our falling out. Supposedly, she’s a psychology student. The breakdown was that she IMed me in a group message stating I should “stop acting like a child” because I chose not to participate in a company game. I quickly texted back telling her that she’s not a psychologist, and I didn’t ask for her opinion. End of story, short and sweet as it is. Well, she quit last night. I’m assuming she found the other job she’d been searching for, and she was certainly in and out of the hall a lot yesterday with her phone. However, when she wasn’t there today, everyone assumed we’d been at it again, I guess. That would be a completely wrong assumption. As I said before, I haven’t given her a second thought. I’m just a bit disappointed work is a lot like a girl’s gym locker room; everybody’s nose is in each other’s business–and it stinks! I’m not a fan of idle gossip.

More importantly is that I thought I was going to move up in three months; my car has 140,000 miles on it, and my employer is 55 miles away. Even as horrible as I am with math, I can tell I don’t have a lot of time to figure something out. I at least need to find an additional position just to make ends meet. But here’s the clincher; they’re discussing having me change my schedule for 5 weeks, working from noon until 9:00 p.m. That means I wouldn’t get home until after 10:00 p.m. through the entire week. No kids.

Mion Mayday

As if to make matters worse, Nikki, my 11-year-old daughter, told me she thinks she may be lesbian. That’s not the bad news. The bad news is she’s decided she’s not, and she can’t wait for five years so she can start dating boys! I told her before, she’s got lots of time to sort things out before dating. Somehow the lesbian idea sounds safer to me right now.

See? I can’t be gone for over a month with this little girl talking about being straight; my sixteen-year-old failing school and insisting on prom; and “Greg” threatening to bail on me. Yeah, Greg is my car. What the hell am I going to do?

My life is unraveling before my eyes! If my phone does ring now, I may scream, “Mayday! Mayday!” into the receiver. It’s ringing now. Is it you?

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